Time and Life

Reflecting on time, on the demands of life.  Doing the math.  The numbers don’t jive.  There are days when there is just too much demanded and not enough time to fulfill the demands.  This upcoming week is one of those days (don’t think about it too hard).  Today consisted of a series of events that all needed accomplished and could not, or would not be set aside, put off, neglected or ignored.  It is now 10:30 and they have not been completed so much as they have been declared “good enough”.  I didn’t finish everything that I wanted, but at least everything I had decreed I would complete.

This irreconcilable difference between time and life has an adverse effect on things such as preferences, wants.  They are the neglected.  I WANT to write.  I WANT to read.  I WANT to take my dog for a walk.  But time coolly measures out my daily allotment of hours, minutes and seconds, indifferent to my plea for just a few more today.  Life lays out the demands of responsibility, obligation, commitment to previous choices, insisting that each be honored.  I work to fit them together like some twisted jigsaw puzzle; you know, like one of the really difficult ones, that has a few pieces that will never be used because they don’t fit in.  Guess which pieces those are.

I don’t even have time to be writing this as the clock is ticking loudly above my head, reminding me that it won’t pause to allow me indulgence in my leisure.   Five o’clock a.m. will come on schedule, just as it always does.  The demands of life are tapping at my brain, reminding me of all I still need to do before I can find my bed.  They won’t go away, but remain with arms folded and feet tapping impatiently.

I know it will all work out, will all get done, will all be okay, just as it always is.

I need to focus.

I need to prioritize.

I need one of those Time-Turners that Hermione had in the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Time and the demands of life are jockeying for position in my upcoming week, but for now, I will adopt Scarlett O’Hara’s outlook of: “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

– S.D. Bullard

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~ by sdbullard on April 29, 2012.

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