If You Were Just a Memory

If you were just a memory.

And I pray I do not live to see that day.

But if it happened you existed in just the recesses of my mind:

What would I recall about you?

 
I would remember what you looked like:

Your hair. Your eyes. That smile so unique.

The way you walk across a room, run crazy wild, or dance without a care.

The way you roll your eyes when mad.

 
I’d remember what you sound like:

The brightness of your laugh; beauty of your song.

The conversations we would share, my ears take in the sweetness of your voice.

The way that you pronounce my name.

 
I would remember how you felt:

Your hand on my shoulder or patting my hair.

How you wrap your arms around my neck and hug me with your entire heart.

The way you fit so neatly in my arms and my soul.

 

 

But if you were just a memory,

And I pray I do not live to see that day,

But if it happened you existed in just the recesses of my mind:

What would I recall about me?

 
What thoughts would crowd my mind just then?

If the time came when I could not see your face,

And I was left with no more than the memories I keep of me and you?

If I were forced to view my heart?

 
Would I see the times I lashed out?

The times I turned you back or shut you out?

Would I see the times I had no time when time was all you wanted of me?

When I put me first and not you?

 
Would I hear the times I grumbled?

When I barked out words that carried too much bite?

Would I hear the times I tuned you out because I wouldn’t make myself care?

Or dismissed your thoughts with a word?

 
Would I feel the gruff frustration?

The impatience when we couldn’t get along?

Would I feel the times I felt that you were keeping me from what I wanted?

The bother of your needs and wants?

 
Or would I feel the joy I felt,

Of lifting you up and pushing you onward?

Would I hear praise, encouragement, prayers I prayed that God would give you such joy?

Would I see the smiles that you caused?

 
If you were just a memory,

Would I know that I held you better than me?

May I begin to love you with God’s love; and see that what I do today,

Will be tomorrow’s memories.

 

 – S.D. Bullard

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~ by sdbullard on July 8, 2012.

2 Responses to “If You Were Just a Memory”

  1. Familiar sentiment…

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